Thursday, January 14, 2021

An odd day. Wes stayed home from school because he wasn’t feeling well. This meant a trip to the Covid testing site, as he won’t be able to return to school until he has a negative test. He was perfectly fine by lunch.

I’m not feeling the greatest, and it’s likely just too many consecutive 4am wake up times and this detox. It is really hard to keep in the right headspace to be able to write like this when you’re not feeling good!

A zoom gift shop ordering session in the store today. I peeked into the workshop looking for my brother. It used to be my dad’s workshop. I stepped in and there was a split second where it felt as if he was there at his work bench, tinkering. The smell of oil. The sound of the radio crackling. His tool box, drawers open. He’s still there. No body. All spirit.

Writing this journal has such a huge learning curve for me. I have so much I want to say, but each day I stick to what’s here, right now. That’s the practice for me. Typically, I go off the rails. I get bored and impatient and want to try different things. That’s not a bad thing. But this journal is a grounding exercise for me and I feel very determined about it. So I keep going.